Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Derp Blog Into Darkness #13: IGOR

In Derp Blog Into Darkness, I take a plunge into the deep with movies I’ve never seen or (in some cases) even heard of, with the only common thread throughout being that they were purchased by my partner in the years after the break with her religious upbringing. This gives me a range from mainstream comfort food to more daring, “rebellious” stuff.

One of the things you learn as a young pop culture aficionado growing up, is that it’s the people behind the scenes who are worth following. You may like strawberries, but there’s no reason to get excited about them unless you know what exactly is going to happen to them in the kitchen before they are served to you.

I asked Ella what made her blind-buy IGOR, a film she deemed not necessary to rewatch along with me – something that has not happened often in this series so far. Her answer was simply “I like John Cusack”, which, coupled with the last movie she deigned not to rewatch (HIGH FIDELITY) probably soured her on Cusack for a while.

IGOR is the low budget tale of a young hunchback who wants nothing more than to be an evil scientist. In the land of Malaria, evil science reigns supreme after the several crops failed and the king decided to focus on blackmailing the rest of the world by putting all the moenies towards evil science.

Hunchbacks are forced to go to IGOR school because of the hunch on their backs. Yeah, Igor seems to be an actual job description in Malaria, as in “I’ll have my IGOR handle that!”. I’ll admit I got a good chuckle out of Igor saying he got his “Yes Master”’s degree.

Our Cusack-Igor is the assistant to Dr. Glickenstein (John Cleese) and has been experimenting on the side. No, not making out with other Igors, but inventing and stuff! He made Scamper (Steve Buscemi), an immortal bunny who unfortunately hates life, and Brian (Sean Hayes), a really dumb brain in a jar hooked up to some robot parts. Scamper and Brian are actually quite funny in their bleakness and stupidity, respectively. I couldn’t believe the bit where Scamper gets his brains blown out on-screen and he regrows them as the camera travels through entry and exit wound. It was an accident though, cuz I’m sure they never would have allowed a bunny to blow his brains out in a mainstream kids movie. Still, pretty shocking!

When Dr. Glickenstein accidentally offs himself during one of his many failed experiments, Igor sees his chance to enter the annual Evil Science Fair with a mind-blowing invention that will show the citizens of Malaria hunchbacks can do more than be lackeys!

He makes a big tank of a woman whom he intends to be a new breed of Malarian supersoldier, but he just can’t quite get her to be evil. In the meantime, Eurotrashy Dr. Schadenfreude (Eddie Izzard) has set his sights on “Eva” as the invention he will steal this year, since he is actually naught but a dandy who somehow keeps winning the Evil Science Award every year.

IGOR is quite a funny movie, I thought. Its humor balances quite well on the edge of gross/dark without ever being tasteless. What really brings it down, is how fucking CHEAP it looks. It’s incredible to me that this wasn’t a DTV cartoon. Okay, it looks better than one of the pre-movie trailers the DVD advertised:

Yes, that’s Elliot Gould as GOD

Gotta love how they drop the words PRINCE OF EGYPT in the trailer. Anywho, IGOR! It’s funny, but it’s pretty badly animated also! I’m not an animator or artist of any kind, so I can’t quite tell you what exactly went wrong but I’ll tell you ONE THING that went wrong, and it’s the same as HOODWINKED: Stop blowing all your money on celebrity voices! Avatar doesn’t, and everybody loves that!

Now I’m sad cuz there’s no release date for the next book of Korra yet. Man, fuck you IGOR!

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